If youve never read a profile of dating online everywhere, invariably you saw some version of the Phrase Of The Day today in there somewhere. This can come in the form of "No games!" or "I am sick of games" or "dont play and dont put up with it", among others.
OK, so after reading this kind of thing some hundreds of times, I had a brilliant idea.I started asking people what is meant by that. conversations, predictably, went like this:
Me: To say you do not want to "play". What are the "games", exactly?
They: uh ... you know ..."games".
Me: how?
: Well, you know, all these people play games.
Based on this template, there are three conclusions I could do: 1) people have no real idea what they mean by "No games" .2) if they know what they mean, isnt a standard definition that may relate to the rest of us immediately.2 And 3) is entirely possible that people put "No Games" in their profiles, just because everyone else did, and it seems that what to write.
My bet is that the # 3 most often is the reason not. After all, lack of creativity has never been in short supply on dating websites! That said, when so many people carry the thing "games"--even making their motto freakin in multiple instances--theres got to be something to do.
So whats with it?
After considerable thought and conversation, here are just some of the possibilities as regards what hes talking about people. I dont see this as an exhaustive list and I welcome additions from readers.For your convenience I have broken down by sex, at all.
BOY GAMES
1) what is a "Game" without a "Player"?--now, what is a "player", exactly, is a whole nother topic, adding complexity to this whole thing whoever he is., some women are "sick" of him. for the record, other women are inexplicably drawn to types of "player".So thank you, Lord, for the clarification given what is preferably the ... assuming, um, thats what means.
2) the "rules" meetings of engagement--this involves doing things or acting in a certain way based on Protocol unwritten.For example, when a guy Gets the phone number/takes you on a date/etc., that he must wait three days to call you right?
3) Located on intentions--he "likes" and wants a relationship.Or vice versa.
4) Overpromising/Underdelivering--says it has a "wonderful evening" planned for you Are all excited., and you end up not doing absolutely nothing ... still. another version of this is correct, after dinner, while it is still early, he says it is really just ready to go home and "cold". This is classified as a boy "game" because in my opinion, the guy must have dates for the couple to enjoy, largely based on (hopefully) his favorite things to do/places to visit.
GAMES LAG
1) Playing "Hard To Get"--that lets me hanging. A lot.
2) marking Territory--this is all about getting involved in the life of a boy so that before he knows, almost certainly not away anytime soon.(e.g. make friends with his friends, introducing her and her children one to another, etc.)There could be a future newsletter dedicated to this topic too!
3) Meal Ticket--takes him around because hell buy his dinner and stuff ... and this is really everything.My personal opinion on this, BTW, is that if it is happening, is the guys fault.He has failed to create attraction on his part and beyond, who can blame her?
4) Sexual control--all under the General title of "manipulation by sex" is a "game".
GAMES OF EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES
1) Lightness--generally described as saying that something will be done and not delivery.Some people are legitimate all-rounder flakes/deadbeats, and not i.e. no game.Here the game involved typically flaking on someone after commit to a date, etc., because it came a "best option" long. "City of the game", baby.
2) Mind Games--or suggestions or even saying something is so, and then pretend it was never said later.Acting at once, the approval of some assets disapproving the same thing more time.Carrots and sticks. Carts and horses.You get the idea, and this can take any form.Everything from where the ratio stands at what size the dude wears boxers is fair "game" for this type of thing.This concert is all about controlling someone from weakness-usually passive aggressively (that is, ahem, another topic for another day).
3) Assumptions presumptuous, what is?--if someone requires another person and say "Oh, just assumed ..." you have this course. example here would be a calls B (Note careful avoidance of X and y variables here) To automatically beverage provided B foots the Bill and dont have money. someone was "played" here Anything involving the alleged use of another time, resources or talent is this game type. Lord, if you automatically assume the guy is going to help you move (except perhaps if you are with him!)you are seeing a problem waiting to happen.
4) Guilt trips--a great tactic of manipulation, often characterized by guilt by projecting onto someone else, rather than accept no responsibility for actions.(In fact, performed by anyone who runs this brand of smack on a regular basis).
NON-EXAMPLES
Just for the record, there are a few things that may seem like games, but careful before considering them those.
1) Dont know which one wants--if anyone wants a relationship and the other isnt quite there yet, for whatever reason, that guide the relationship often thinks the other is "games". assuming that everyone was honest intentions here, this frustration is simply being called "not always what one wants to immediately". Not a "game".
2) detail around non-exclusivity--if you are not in an exclusive relationship with someone, is not a "game" when the other person is dating of other people. Furthermore, it is not a "game" when you are not being given details. Indeed, if a person asks the other such details (for which there is an answer that will make that person happy, of course) that actually could fall under the category "game". Assuming of exclusivity, anyway, not a good strategy. People in exclusive relationships must have a common understanding, that is the case.
3) Definitive stupidity--Laugh hard if you must, but you know what happens. a or b did or said something in a moment of bonehead, and others thought that was a deliberate tactic derail things in General Yes, well, things may actually derail. But wasnt intentional, so it wasnt a "game".
So theoretically the resume here might be that if someone isnt going in front of something, the "game" is.
Scot McKay of dating strategies for those who refuse to settle for anything less than last report are available at: http://www.deservewhatyouwant.com/ sleep from right now and grab a free e-book (value $ 20) when you sign up for the X & Y Communications Newsletter, which is always full of unique and practical tips for dating.
