Youre so in love. Hes your boo. You walking hand in hand, talking about both are fortunate as being together. We introduce one of your male friends to him. As you continue walking, you find that your boyfriend seems upset. He starts accusing of courtship. You delete its argument as unreasonable and unjustified. He hits you.
The statistics of teen dating abuse are impressive. A study conducted in 2005 by teenage research unlimited showed that adolescents 1 in 3 related to know a friend or peer that has been hit, slapped, kicks, punches, strangled or physically hurt by their partners.The age range of those most vulnerable to dating and sexual violence is 16-24 years. I fear that the numbers are climbing as victims are becoming younger.
When asked why she allows to be victims, often responses of a young girl, "I love him," "He apologized" or "not really was so bad."He may have convinced yourself that was at fault. You can further be afraid and fears retaliation.
As a parent of a teenager, I find it so daunting that our beautiful, mature young women and young colleagues are always such a distorted vision of love and intimacy.One might point easily lyrics of popular music and messages subliminal seduction as they flash their bling bling and dance in a sea of scantily-clad women voluptuous. even movies starring teen idols perpetuate thug love as sexy and desirable. These images can nourish the problem but are not the problem. I believe that in the absence of truth, your mind will accept a lie.
The purpose of this article is not to hit the abuser or abused, but speak of truth. Truth illuminates and exposes what has hidden--the pain. Our children are in pain.I remember an interview that Oprah did with mothers who had killed their children. at the conclusion of the interview, one of the women told her, "I cant believe that you do not hate us." With tears streaming down her face, Oprah replied: "this is the way you have addressed your pain. I chose a different way to deal with my ". Our children dont know how to cope with their pain.
Unresolved Pain distorts the vision of themselves and others. Anger, in its many forms, is the screen of smoke that hides the depths of sorrow. Especially in relationships, it will bump against the pain of someone. If you dont understand, however, that you dont cause pain, youll accept attacks. You can also think that you understand the attacker so nobody does. That is not love.
LOVE DOESNT HURT.Love doesnt attempt to inflict pain or put someone in harms way. in his humanity, you will do the wrong things. We make mistakes and bad choices. But the guy or girl ever has the right to punish you with words or fists. He or she could feel the disappointment intense for your behavior. That is good and also human.However, retaliatory acts, including more subtle forms of abuse, such as the treatment of silence or saying "nothing" when you know that something is wrong, is not acceptable and should not be tolerated.
Results of abuse when an individual feels helpless.It is the by-product of overwhelming passion. If you feel threatened or insulted in a dating relationship, make it known.If your feelings are not honoured, exit. If he tries to get to disregard your parents, exit.If he tries to isolate you from your friends, and what is significant, exit.If he lobbied for sex, exit. If he uses drugs or engages in underage drinking, exit. If he is a shame in front of peers, exit.
Teach people how to treat and if you refuse to allow abuse, we will send a clear message that he has got to be a Lord be with you. True power and control is standing up for yourself and accept nothing less than the best treatment for you.
Suzette r. Hinton, SAC-I certificate counselor, Mentor, Coach and mother life. graduation CANA, Inc (http://www.coachtrainingacademy.com) and founder of targeted (http://www.purposefulconnections.com). Suzette believes that the aim is not just a destination, but it is the energy that drives us towards its fulfilment.
