I have some polarization on this issue. This section can be difficult if you are considering a divorce or are already divorced. In this section may sound harsh, but gives voice to the needs of your children and sometimes hidden consequences of divorce.
For over 20 years I have recommended youth ages 5-18, families and extended families. divorce, an event That affects children and adolescents live deeply and for life.
So, is the first piece of advice not to divorce.Do everything possible to stay together and I mean Really can take everything. few months most of falling in love again and rekindle your life with this person. Not in destitution, but in a place where we can rebuild and continue to love one another.
That said, lets take a look at what to do if you are divorced. There are some basic guidelines. I didnt create these rules.Hundreds of children and adolescents created these rules during the sessions of individual and group counselling. This is whats truly in their hearts and what they gave me permission to help them entry. I sincerely hope you can hear and feel.I wrote the rules the way that young people presented rules to me in the session.
I use the Word always in several of these guidelines is absolute good sense that if your ex is a child molester, abusive alcoholic or drug-addicted, and not have that children interact with that person. If the judges have ordered the visitation, so make sure you that visits are supervised Visitation.
CHILDREN OF DIVORCE
1. Always keep the open relationship between me and my other parent.
2. Never speak evil or critically my mom or dad. when it comes to adversely affect their I assume that there are parts of me that hate too. After all, I am half and half my other parent.
3. do not use me as the spy against my father than others. I resent it and feel pulled apart.
4. do not ask me to choose who I like most.Is unfair, painful and I cannot give you the desired answer. Ti amo both for different reasons.
5. dont drag the boyfriends or girlfriends in my life, unless looks really you are going to marry this person. Hate the constant parade of people that really doesnt mean anything.
6. be really careful about who you bring into our home. Many of your boyfriends so-called flirting with me or have touched or kissed me.Why cant protect me?
7. When you date, sleep with, party or carouse it on days or nights when Im with my other parent. Really I dont want to see you drunk or know that youre having sex with someone other than my father. This will generate always in your face-if its OK to have sex and not being married, should be ok for me.
8. If you break a significant relationship, and I know, I have experience another loss.When I experience loss after loss learn not to trust that anyone will ever be around for a long time.
9. dont buy underwear for your girlfriend or boyfriend when Im with you .... duh.
10. see rule number 7. following this, you will never rule number 10.For Petes sake, locking the door if you are foolish enough to bring in another partner Are resentful, angry and embarrassed when I walked into a bedroom unlocked to find you having sex with a stranger. Grab a clue, this is not in any where near ok.
11. living in the same city and State as my father than others.This allows to have a relationship with my other parent easier and cheaper.I am tired of not seeing my other parent and sick of excuses that nobody can afford the costs to send me to visit the other parent.
12. If I promise that I will see, keep the promise. period of excuses.
13. Slow dating is the re-marriage immediately after the divorce.It feels like youve never really loved my mom or dad when you move too quickly. Furthermore, are in pain.Im experiencing a death of a dream.I lost my family, as I know. when moving too quickly increases the intensity of my pain.
14. dont start dating until after the divorce. youre still married until the documents are signed, even if they live together.
15. peaceful agreements concerning Working vacations.
16. find a way to get .so you two cannot live together at least grow enough now to discuss civilly. After all, both will be there for my degree, wedding and grandkids. want to live in a constant struggle the rest of your life? you can choose to fight for a living, but in the end I dont ruin my life because of it. When I am an adult simply will not call you to important events in my life.
Copyright 2007, Iris Fanning. all rights reserved worldwide. www.irisfanning.com [http://www.irisfanning.com] reprint rights: you may reprint this article as long as you leave all active links, not modify in any way the article and author give credit to name please visit my library: www.lulu.com/coachiris
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