Getting your ex back can sound good in theory, especially during those first few weeks (even months) after a breakup.
You may want to return to what you had, what you knew -- a return to what you thought was normalcy.
But guess what? It could be a terrible idea!
Here are some signs that you might not want to trying getting back with your former boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife.
They dont want you back
Do you really want to exert a lot of time and energy into securing the affections of someone who doesnt want you anymore? The initial pain of a breakup can pale in comparison to the long, dull ache of vying for the attention of someone who simply isnt interested.
They stifled your individuality
Think back to when you were a couple. How often were you given the chance to explore your passions and interests? Do you think youve developed as an individual throughout your time together? Is your pain coming from the fact that your relationship started to make up the vast majority of your identity?
If you feel like less of an individual now, reconsider any effort to start things up again. Relationships come with sacrifices, but both parties should exercise some selflessness. If that doesnt happen, one person can become a shadow of what they once were, and thats a recipe for unhappy unions.
They have been your ex before
If this wasnt the first time youve broken up, guess what? Somethings not right. No matter how much you may care for someone, sometimes relationships dont work out, and the reasons for their failure can be so multiple and complex that it defies absolute explanation.
Dont jump in a destructing cycle of breaking up and getting back together again. The damage will keep getting worse and it could make it difficult to move on to healthier relationships.
Resist the impulse to decide: I want to get back with my ex! Igniting an old romance can be emotionally exhausting and, in the long run, destructive. Before diving back into old dating routines, reflect on why you might not really want to get your ex back.
