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Here are 54 tips to meet women. These tips are designed to get you to think about the whole meeting women process in a different way than you probably do now.
I do include places to meet women but also internal things for you to work on so that you are READY to meet good women.
54 TIPS TO MEET WOMEN, TIPS 1-10
1: Be YOUR best
Be in the top shape you can be, dress in a stylish manner, make sure you are groomed well and take care of your smile. You can be the greatest guy in the world but your mismatched pants and socks combined with dirt under your nails will turn her off.
2: Go online young man
Dating Web sites can be great. Make sure to put up 2 photos. One will be in business clothing and the other will be casual. Get a professional to do them. Do not write a book about yourself. Just say that you are looking for a self-reliant woman to laugh with over coffee.
3: Develop your sense of humor
Women want to have FUN and LAUGH so they love a guy with a sense of humor. Think you cannot do it? Think again. You are not trying to go out on tour and hit the comedy club circuit. You just need to be able to look at the world in a more funny way than you are now. There are comedy classes, books, seminars, improvisation classes and many more ways for you to be funny.
4: Remember, dating is like sales
There is a lot of rejection in sales if you have never been in it before. You need to look at finding your dream girl as a process where you will probably hear the word no a lot before you can hear the word yes (of course, maybe you will find your dream girl out of the gate).
5: NEVER take women personally
Dovetailing on tip 4 above, you will run into a lot of women that are not right for you, do not want anything to do with you, disappear after 2 dates even though they seemed to be having a good time, and many more frustrating things. Keep good humor about this process and remember you only need ONE good woman.
6: Learn what a good woman is
You should be looking for a clinically sane woman you can talk to that is self-reliant, has a good sense of humor, is giving, has high integrity, responsible and is flexible in her approach to life.
7: Do NOT overrate her looks
She looks like she comes off the cover of a famous magazine with long, curly hair and a perfect shape. You are either afraid to approach or you are willing to put up with ANYTHING to be with her. Remember, you want a good woman so do not just give her a pass on bad behavior and do not be afraid to talk to her!
8: Self-confidence is sexy
The John Wooden coached basketball teams were great (John Wooden was probably the best college basketball coach in history). His teams were great because they were the SAME whether they were winning, losing or tied. They always had the same cool, calculated approach. You need to be the same with women. Whether you have 4 women that you are dating now or you have been rejected 30 times in a row, you still need to show the world that you are a guy that is cool. The right woman will notice this but she never will if you let the losses affect your game.
9: Never talk sex
Good women do not respond to this kind of talk when you are just meeting them. Stay away from talking about it or ANY other type of physical contact talk. Do not even tell her you want to kiss her. Why? Most every other guy talks about sex, physical contact, etc, and she is SICK OF IT!
10: Lines are OUT
She is a PERSON. Just TALK to her. Say hi and introduce yourself with a smile. If she is physically attracted to you, she will help you talk to her. If she is not, then she will not help you. The greatest line in the world cannot overcome her not liking the way you look, so stop putting a head trip on yourself with lines. Just TALK to her.
54 TIPS TO MEET WOMEN, TIPS 11-20
11: Be a REAL man and ask for the number
When you are meeting her, do not weakly offer your business card or stammer out that you might want to see her some time. Do you think the guys in the romance novels she reads charge in on the white horse and then look away as they offer her their business card? Look in her eyes, smile and ask her for her number. She might reject you but at least you made a STRONG play.
12: Be a gentleman
Good women do respond to you opening their doors, pulling their chair out, looking in their eyes when talking to them, not staring at the waitress (or other women) and other things that you might have thought went out with Cary Grant movies. I am here to tell you that those things are ALIVE and WELL if you want to meet a good woman.
13: Do not put pressure on her
A lot of guys rush into rejection. They take a good woman that is physically attracted to them and ruin it by calling her too much, getting in her space to soon and letting her know that she is THE ONE. Women take a more slow and calculated approach to dating. Let her CHASE YOU.
14: Challenge is the key to women
Dovetailing on tip 13, challenge is a hard concept for a lot of guys. They want to call her all the time, show her they like her, and knock the other guys out of the box. They are afraid to be a challenge to her because they feel that if they disappear, she will forget about them. Disappearing is the way to make her THINK ABOUT YOU MORE. You will have a great time on dates with her, make her laugh and then not contact her for 5-9 days between dates. She needs to WONDER about what you are up to when you are not around. If you are in her face all the time, you upset this process.
15: Light and funny
Remember my tip about humor? Women do not want heavy subjects from you. When they meet you and you are MR. SERIOUS, you think you are making points by showing your intelligence. All she is thinking is "that dude is a DOWNER." Keep it light. Keep it funny. NO HEAVY SUBJECTS. You will get a lot further with women if you have a light and funny way about you.
16: NO you CANNOT have any woman you want
In spite of what many internet snake oil salesmen tell you, you CANNOT have any woman you want by using the right "moves." You can improve with the women that find you physically attractive but if she likes short dark haired guys and you are tall with light hair, then you are OUT. Remember this, YOU MUST PASS HER PHYSICAL ATTRACTION TEST. Period.
17: One chance per woman, per lifetime
If a good woman is available and finds you physically attractive and you do not blow it by talking heavy subjects with her, then you should get a date. IF SHE TURNS YOU DOWN, THEN SHE MEANT IT! I find it sad when guys keep pursuing. If an available woman rejects you, then you did not pass the physical attraction test or she did not like something about your personality and you will not change that. MOVE ON.
18: Nightclubs are not great places to meet women
I am not saying it is impossible to meet women here, but you are really at a disadvantage because of the loud music. You need to be able to talk to her and make her laugh. Pretty tough to do that when you have to scream to make yourself heard. If you are going to try to compete in a nightclub, learn how to dance and get good at it. If you are a good dancer then the interested women will find a way to talk to you.
19: Classes or seminars are good
You will find women here that are interested in expanding their minds. Best of all? You can talk here. Do not wander around like a dog in heat on the first day of class. Just lay back and get the lay of the land. The interested women will start coming around. Of course, if it is only a 1 day class or seminar, you will have to approach the women you are interested in. Again, just TALK to them about what they found interesting. If you pass the physical attraction test and she is available, then you should be good. If not, NEXT!
20: Speed dating might be right for you
You have about 3 to 8 minutes per woman and you generally meet 20 women per event. These events are MAINLY about physical attraction. However, you can stand out by taking control of the conversation. Sit down, look in her eyes, smile and ask her what she likes best about herself. No other guy is asking that! You should fill the conversation with follow up questions to her response. If you pass the physical attraction test then you will stand out to her.
54 TIPS TO MEET WOMEN, TIPS 21-30
21: Let her do the talking
We want to brag, tell her about our accomplishments and basically impress her. If you were a cowboy in the old west, that is the equivalent of shooting yourself in the foot at a gun fight. You are a STRANGER to her and for people, the most interesting subject in the world is THEM. Most every guy wants to tell her that HE IS THE MAN. You will be different. She will have to FIND OUT that you are the man. In the meantime, let her talk about her life while you share little.
22: Mystery men get farther than open books
Women love to peel away the layers. If she knows your life story in the first 20 minutes, where is the fun in that? When you spill everything about yourself then there is nothing more to learn, to discover. It is like going to a movie with a crawl running along the bottom that tells you how the movie will end. Would that be any fun to watch?
23: Gifts are NOT the key to her heart
Sadly, a lot of guys see the object of their affection and then shower her with gifts. She knows she did not earn them. You know she did not earn them. All she did was be attractive to you. Plus, most every other guy has figured he can buy her affection. Good women do not respond to gifts too early. Sure, if she is your girlfriend, wife or fiance then you can give gifts. Until then, FORGET IT. Do not even give her a single flower until she is your girlfriend.
24: Excessive compliments are NO GOOD
She has heard how beautiful she is since the age of 11. BORING. Does the charging knight on the white horse from the romance novel dismount and tell the maiden how gorgeous she is 100 times? He does not do that. You should not either.
25: Women HELP you when they LIKE you
Good women that are interested do not break dates, make excuses why they cannot see you, or are hard to get a hold of. Remember, WOMEN HELP YOU WHEN THEY LIKE YOU. Interested women make it OBVIOUS they want to be around you. They are present. It really is no harder than that but many guys want to rationalize and say "well, this or that happened to her, Ill give her another shot." You are only fooling yourself.
26: Do NOT touch her
When guys meet women, they want to hug them, or put their arm around her or be close to her. GIVE HER SPACE. She knows when the right time to touch is. Grabby guys are eventually rejected guys.
27: Buying her a drink is OUT
This is just like giving gifts. Again, if you are physically attractive to her, she is a good woman and available, she will HELP YOU when you come over and say hi. Buying a $10 drink cannot change those facts. She either likes you or she does not.
28: Leave on a high
Remember the extremely funny Seinfeld show? There is an episode where the character George always leaves the room whenever he gets a laugh so he can leave on a high. You must do the same. Develop some rapport with her, make her laugh, get the number and GET OUT. All you will do by hanging around is to sell her on NOT going out with you. Save the rest of your wittiness for the date.
29: It is a PROCESS
Taking the thought above a tad farther, you cannot look at dating women as a sprint. It is a MARATHON. You are taking a complete stranger that has existed in this world MANY YEARS without being exposed to your charms, so spoon feed yourself to her. Do not open up too suddenly or soon and make her think that she has you all figured out. Again, remember she likes a mystery and a challenge!
30: Expand YOUR mind
I am not saying that you need to be a college professor and I do not want you going into heavy subjects with her, but when you can relate to more than what you find on the sports pages, you become a more interesting man to her.
54 TIPS TO MEET WOMEN, TIPS 31-40
31: Wine, cooking, or dance lessons can be great venues
Yes, these attract a large number of women. Very few guys. Enough said.
32: Uptight guys are not attractive
Good women like to be playful. They like a guy with an easy way about him. If your demeanor is one of "YEAH, WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT?" then you will not get very far. I am not saying that you can roll over and just accept everything she says at face value. If you have a different opinion, do not be afraid to express it but do not be like a drill sergeant either. Remember, keep it light and keep it funny.
33: Do NOT be a pushover
The agreeable guy is generally the lonely guy. I mean, it is all right to agree with her but if you truly have a different mindset, do not be afraid to tell her. She will respect you if you stand up for what you believe in. Again, it is a balancing act. You do not want to be too rigid but you do not want to be too wimpy either. The gentleman is a guy with his own set of opinions, knows what he wants but has a cool way about him.
34: Study the duck
Ducks look pretty smooth as they roll across the pond for that bread crust you just threw, right? Switch to the underwater camera and you will see dude paddling like mad underneath. You my friend are the duck. You might be super attracted to her with your heart about to jump out of your chest as she punches her number into your phone, but you will just smile and be cool.
35: Do NOT hang on the phone (and that includes text messages)
Dating is a FACE to FACE activity. You cannot see her body language through the cell phone (or land line- do they even exist anymore?). Plus, too much contact is bad. Remember mystery and challenge? The charging white knight in the romance novel does not sit in the meadow next to his horse and have a 3 hour conversation with the fair maiden. Neither should you.
36: Social networking is YOUR ENEMY
When your life story is on the social networking site you are on, how much of a mystery and challenge can you be? The more that you put on there, the more she can find out. The more she can find out, the less chance you have of selling her on you slowly. Information is power and you give up your advantage when their is too much of you out there sitting online for anyone to read.
37: Pay attention to her body language when approaching
Is she looking right at you? Is she attentive? Do her eyes light up while you are talking? Or is she looking away? Does she seem bored? A lot of times you do not have to go through the step of asking for the number if you can see that she is not interested.
38: Your ego is your enemy
The same ego that gives you enough confidence to approach can trip you up if you let it control you. Some examples of guys letting their ego drive the bus? Generally it is when they keep pursuing a woman no matter what. "I like her so she must like me back" is what these guys tell themselves. Remember, dating is like sales so if you keep pursuing a "lead" that is going nowhere, you might miss out on that awesome sale (a great girl).
39: Sometimes it is best to just let them come to you
Let us just say you are taking dance lessons and there are several beautiful women in class. Should you roll around and try to get numbers during the first week of class to find out who is interested and who is not? OR, would it be better to be the guy that is friendly, makes them laugh and makes them wonder about who you might be seeing? The latter is the best. You will find out soon enough who is interested and you likely do not even want to pursue the women in class anyway. Just be their buddy and they probably will hook you up with their friends. However, if you are getting OBVIOUS buying signals from one, then go for it!
40: The touch test
Another great way to test if the women you meet are interested is if they touch you at all. If she brushes your arm or whacks you lightly while she is laughing then this is a good sign. Women generally do not touch guys they do not like.
54 TIPS TO MEET WOMEN, TIPS 41-50
41: Is it harmless flirting or is she interested?
A lot of women like to playfully flirt. They are not interested but can confuse you. Do you know how to end the confusion? If you are getting buying signals from her, ask her for the number. If she gives you anything but the 7 digits and a subsequent date, then it was just harmless flirting and you can MOVE ON.
42: NEVER lose your COOL if she does not want you
If you are going to be in this dating game, you will get REJECTED from time to time. Women will reject you in weird ways too. It will generally not be a cut and dry "Oh, I am sorry but I have a boyfriend, but I am flattered," type of thing either. Women will say that, yes, but often you will run into jerks that make you want to fire off a string of insults. As easy as it is to verbally blast a jerk woman, you have to be cool and not let her know she got to you. It is just a waste of time to get into a skirmish with someone that has no class.
43: Be honest but not open
I do not want you to lie to women, but I do not want you to reveal everything about your past when you first meet her. A lot of guys think they are building rapport when they talk about negatives from their past. You are not. You are scaring her away. Again, it gets down to not overwhelming her with too much about you too soon. Remember, she wants to get to know you SLOWLY.
44: If it does not raise interest level, do not bring it up
Dovetailing on tip 43, you must evaluate each word that festers in your brain with this filter: Will this raise her interest level in me if I say it? If it can pass that test, then say it. If not, leave it in your head. Too many guys try to wing it instead of understanding what they do or do not say early on can make all the difference between getting or not getting the date.
45: No, you cannot be yourself
All right, I bet you are screaming at the screen now, saying "If I cannot be myself, she is not worth it." I will grant that you will have to be you. However, what I refer to is guys thinking that "being myself" means that they can act like they do around their family or buddies. She is a POTENTIAL ROMANTIC PARTNER and is continually evaluating whether or not you are the right long term solution for her (as you are evaluating her). She is not going to forgive you letting it all hang out like you do around your buddies or family.
46: NO put downs
Gently kidding her over something weird she says is different than dropping a blatant insult on her. It is all right to have some playful banter but make sure not to rip on her so severely that she thinks you are nothing but a jerk.
47: NO long distance
You meet a great lady at a business seminar 200 miles from your house. She is PERFECT. You will be in town the next week and then a couple months later. Time to start something, right? WRONG. You cannot see her enough to make things count and the distance will end up being a bigger barrier than you think as time moves along. Find that perfect lady within 50 miles, please.
48: She can SAY anything she wants but it is what she DOES that counts
A lot of guys might continually see a woman either at a bar, in class or somewhere else and she always gives a ton of buying signs, telling you how great you are, she is happy to see you, you should get together at some point, etc. Then, when you ask for the number, the excuses come. Here is the deal, clinically sane good women with high interest level give you the digits and date post haste. Anything else and you can forget it.
49: It is EASY when they like you
This theme has weaved through the whole article but it is important to make it a tip all its own. Guys today are brainwashed by the major media and movies that show men going through hell trying to get the woman of their dreams and then they finally win her heart after much persistence. That is great for movies or TV but in the real world, clinically sane good women make it EASY to be around them. If you are getting anything but that, you are just fooling yourself.
54 TIPS TO MEET WOMEN, TIPS 50-54
50: What do YOU want?
Yes, of course you want her. I get that. But what do you want from a woman in general? Date 1 leads to date 2 which leads to date 10 then after that, it can be engagement and marriage. As you approach women, ask yourself what you can and cannot put up with. If you do not like a woman that smokes, then why are you asking a smoker out? If you do not care about smoking but you do not like excessive drinking and she parties a lot, then why are you asking her out? Sadly a lot of guys see a pretty woman and then forget that dating can and does lead to long term. Remember, she could be your wife someday, so understand your personal deal breakers up front and understand that you are not going to change her anymore than she is going to change you.
51: No significant others in the background
Does she still have ex-lovers floating around? Is she still in a relationship with someone, but of course claims that it is "over?" It is not worth it to approach her. You need a CLEAN DEAL. Now, there can be a scenario with kids involved where she has to see her ex-husband in a joint custody thing. There is nothing you can do about that. Refer to tip 50 above. What can you put up with?
52: Do not let strangers control how you feel about yourself
You see a beautiful woman and she flat REJECTS you. You withdraw into a bitter world where you will never ask another woman out. You are only hurting yourself and possibly closing yourself off to the lady that would be right for you all because some random stranger would not go out with you. No matter what happens to you, keep on rolling because it is your best chance to find someone.
53: "You Complete Me" is one of the biggest relationship related lies in movie history!
Do you remember the movie Jerry Maguire where he says "You complete me!" That is such a lie. The most attractive guys (and gals) are those that have things rolling along just fine without someone else in their lives. The romantic partner that comes into their lives ENHANCE what they have going on but do not make or break it. If you are all right with you, then you are that much more attractive to a potential lover.
54: No matter what, it should be fun
Dating is fun. Treat it as such. What is really fun, if you have good humor about it, is hearing some of the crazy things that will come out of a ladys mouth when she is not interested. The excuses can be HILARIOUS. Remember that you only need ONE GOOD WOMAN so as you roll along, the rejections will be nothing but humorous afterthoughts if you can get that girl that is right for you.
I hope you enjoyed these 54 tips to meet women.
Remember guys, keep going, no matter what!
Reading the above 54 tips to meet women is a great start but you need our dating women radio show because it is chock full of GREAT advice for GUYS weekly. Best of all? The show is FREE and heard Friday nights online!
You may also type this link in: www.datingwomenradioshow.com
Jeff M. Stevens is the co-host of The Doc Love Show: Understanding Women For Men Only, heard on several US radio stations and online.
