Breaking up is difficult, and it’s even worse when you still want to be with your ex. While some couples do manage to rekindle their romance, there is also a chance that your former significant other doesn’t want you back, however hurtful that may feel. Usually, people will exhibit signs that show the relationship is over in their eyes. Before trying to get back a former flame, you need to figure out whether this person would even be open to dating you again.
Your ex probably doesn’t want you back if he or she:
1. Tries to cut off all ties. This is one of the most obvious signs. If you never hear from your ex, not even when you’ve tried to make contact, that person is likely trying to move on from the situation. Some people may be tempted to read into cutting ties as an act that, somehow, is actually a sign your ex is still yearning for you. While there may be odd cases where people’s actions are wildly different from their intentions, you should take the sudden distance for what it is: someone taking steps to be less close to you than she or she once was.
2. Responds to you with less urgency. Think about how reliably your ex got back to you when he or she was your partner. If the time between e-mails, texts, and phone calls is much more drawn out now, you’re getting a clear sign that you’re no longer a priority. You should also consider the methods used to get in touch with you. If lengthy phone conversations were a staple of your past, but now you’re only getting brief texts or e-mails, it’s a sign your ex wants to keep things more impersonal than they once were.
3. Only communicates about professional and financial matters. Sometimes couples who have been together for a long time have many entanglements that don’t just vanish once the relationship is over. They may own property, for example, or perhaps even share a business. In these cases, it makes sense that your ex would reach out promptly and courteously about these matters. However, if your ex stops the conversation once it turns personal, he or she probably doesn’t want you back.
4. Avoids topics related to your past. Some people may be comfortable keeping an ex around as a friend, but chances are they’ll keep the conversations light and platonic. If your ex squirms whenever you try to bring up your prior romantic relationship, or immediately changes the subject, that’s a sign he or she is trying to get beyond that part of the past.
5. Has a new love interest. Rebounding does happen, where forlorn lovers rush into the arms of the first person who shows them affection. However, if your ex is with someone with whom they appear happy, you have to face the facts: you’re not going to get your ex back. That person has moved on; it’s probably best for you to try to do the same.
Moving on from a relationship can be difficult, especially when you’re still into your ex. It’s emotionally draining, though, to remain invested in someone who doesn’t want you back. If your former partner is showing signs that they are moving on, you should try to do the same.
